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# Fear, Envy, and Contempt
- URL: https://www.howardgray.net/fear-envy-contempt/
- Published: 2019-07-24T10:59:31.000Z
- Updated: 2025-05-24T18:07:33.000Z
- Author: Howard Gray
- Tags: Mindsets & Growth, Battle Scars, Howard's Riffs, How-To Guides

These are three powerful feelings. 

They show up in many areas of our lives. Here are a few examples.

#### **Finding a job**

Fear of being an imposter. 

Envy at the ones already getting hired. 

Contempt for having to grind through a job selection process. 

#### Aiming for a promotion

Fear of it not being what you hope. 

Envy at the [Peter Principle](https://www.investopedia.com/terms/p/peter-principle.asp?ref=howardgray.net) in practice. 

Contempt for those who don’t play fair, and get more than they deserve. 

#### Starting a company

Fear of it failing. 

Envy at those who are doing it successfully already, with it all seemingly figured out. 

Contempt for the reasons why you feel you’re starting at a disadvantage, on a harder path.

#### Going freelance

Fear of no one hiring you. 

Envy at those doing the work you really want to do. 

Contempt for having to go out and sell yourself. 

#### A change in circumstances

Fear of not being settling in, of being accepted. 

Envy at those who got a helping hand. 

Contempt for all those parts of the new systems that don’t work as they should. 

---

Just one of these feelings can have huge effects on us. Fear alone can cripple our creativity, progress, and potential. 

The mix of elements together, though, is [alchemy](https://www.howardgray.net/2019/06/24/alchemy-before-chemistry/). 

And the resulting chemical reactions can be overwhelmingly strong and long-lasting. 

The good news is once we know the elements, we can take steps to acknowledge, manage, reframe, and even harness them. 

---

*\* The place my Enneagram type (5) goes when particularly unhealthy is a mix of envy and contempt. Once I learned this, a lot of other things made more sense. There are some things that once you see, you can’t unseen.*