Why Me?

I've been asking people a question that reliably makes them uncomfortable.

When someone introduces me to a new contact, I ask them why they thought of me.

It sounds like fishing for a compliment, and I'll admit there's a tiny bit of that in it. But it isn't what I'm after. I want the connection they made - something in their head filed me next to this person, and I'd like to know what.

The answers are rarely what I'd have guessed.

You did the music thing.
You know this person.
You built that thing.
You've been through what they're going through now.

Sometimes it's disheartening. Once or twice my internal monologue has been screaming “noooo, I don't do THAT.”

Which is why it's worth asking. None of it is exactly how I'd describe myself. It's how I'm stored in someone else's head.

You can decide what you want to be known for. The referral tells you what you are known for. Mind the gap.