Coaching - Howard Gray

Howard Gray

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Coaching

A collection of 28 posts

The flipped fortune cookie

> “What would you tell your younger self?” It’s one of the most popular questions you’ll hear in interviews. The answers are nearly always reassuring. They give us a warm feeling; a gentle sugary surge. But this is the problem. It’s too often a confection; a hindsight-baked fortune

Co-Founder Conflict: NFI?

Co-Founder Conflict: NFI?

I met up with my friend Gillian [https://www.linkedin.com/in/davisgillian] yesterday. Like me, she’s perhaps a frustrated introvert – very comfortable being out there in front of a room, but less keen on being the in-your-face face of a brand. As we chatted about the shift from

Coaching: Three agendas for exploration

This is part of a series of articles derived from my coaching certification assessment. There are numerous coaching models used in certification programs: this particular one focuses on three agendas; presenting, deeper, and transformational. Here’s a brief breakdown of each of those three agendas, along with an example from

Group Dynamics: Sitting in Circle

Group Dynamics: Sitting in Circle

If you’ve spent any time in coaching, meditation, education, mediation, or consulting you may have heard the phrase or performed the activity of sitting in circle. At its simplest, a group comes together to share ideas and experiences on a particular topic. And they do so sitting in a

Book Request: The Coaches

Note: this is an idea I am getting rid of [https://www.howardgray.net/2019/05/10/why-we-need-to-get-rid-of-ideas/] (for the foreseeable at least) Coaching has exploded in popularity over the past decade. Starting in the world of sports, before being embraced by senior executives in the business world, coaching is

Coaching for creative inspiration

A key component of a coaching certification program is to get coaching. Not ‘get’ as in ‘understand’, but ‘get’ as in enrolling with a coach. Becoming the client. There are some obvious benefits to this: learning new techniques and approaches from another coach; putting yourself into the shoes of a

Overrated Mentors, Underrated Coaches

Mentoring and coaching often get thrown into one bucket. On the surface they sound pretty similar; practices that help people make progress. However, go down a layer or two and there are a host of differences (I wrote about these here) [https://www.howardgray.net/2018/03/22/advisor-mentor-coach-counsel-whats-in-a-name/] . Broadly

Learning Styles: 3D Mapping a Conversation

One of the learnings from being a student again has been around my own learning style. Other than a few short courses and MOOCs I haven’t done much classroom-based work since university – and that was nearly 15 years ago. The delicious irony here is that much of my work

What the music industry’s people need next

What the music industry’s people need next

As the music industry’s resurgence continues, its people need support now more than ever. There’s opportunity to further embrace a contributor to success in tech, sports, and other industries. We’re now living in a world that’s more prosperous than at any time in history. Standards of

Coaching: Spinning our Wheels

Coaching: Spinning our Wheels

Here’s a question I hear from time to time. What is coaching for? It’s a simple question, but not necessarily easy to answer. We may think about leadership, success, being in the top 1% of performers. Often it’s less about the big visible breakthroughs and more about

Insider, Outsider

Insider, Outsider

Usually we want to be insiders. The inside scoop, the inside knowledge, being in the loop. Being outside doesn’t sound so appealing. Being left out in the cold, an outsider looking in. Maybe even frozen out. I’m an immigrant, trying to find my way in a new country

Coaching: Preparing for job interviews

Coaching: Preparing for job interviews

Job interviews can be nerve-wracking at the best of times. There’s pressure, uncertainty, intensity; it’s a set-piece with a design out of our control. We often don’t know what to expect from the interview itself. When combined with our pre-conceptions of the company, role and the wider

The arcade of the multiple mirrors

The arcade of the multiple mirrors

Let’s take a trip to a theme park. This theme park is expansive, multi-layered, and stretches out as far as the eye can see. It’s the landscape of our work life: our careers, ventures and dreams. There are so many paths to take and colourful places to visit:

Coaching: Stories can lead to solutions

A coaching client came to me to discuss a challenge they had at work. This client works in an executive role at a large professional services company. A team member was coming to the executive’s office on a regular basis with seemingly long-winded, rambling and meandering background information about

The Gallery

It’s time for your next show. Take a moment to see in your mind’s eye a spacious, empty room in an art gallery. You choose what gets displayed, but you can only have a handful of things on show. The good news is you can choose any of

Getting to grips with my Inner Critic

The inner critic is something we all hear from time to time. During a recent coaching session with one of my coaching program peers, the topic of the inner critic came up. We agreed that it could be an interesting exercise for me to explore in more detail who this

Finding mentors & advisors: 1:1 or a roster?

A couple of weeks ago I attended a really interesting seminar at Orbital here in NYC. The hosts Gary and Christina had just finished up teaching their ‘Teach The 1k’ program at the SVA Design School, and this session was for them to share what they taught (and just as

Trust, Lock-in and Switching Costs for Coaches, Consultants, and Advisors

Trust, Lock-in and Switching Costs for Coaches, Consultants, and Advisors

This is post is about lock-in. Let’s get the Urban Dictionary definition out of the way first (it’s the first place my mind went to…): > The largely illegal state of a bar or pub during the period of time after last call, during which the bar is locked

5 common myths about coaching

During my journey into coaching, first as a client and then as a coach, I’ve spent quite a bit of time navigating a landscape that can feel a little confusing. As coaching is still a relatively nascent area (particularly in certain countries, cultures and industries), a lot of people

Coaching: 15 things that make your heart sing

One of the key components of my coaching certification program is to undertake peer coaching with other members of the cohort. There’s a minimum requirement of peer coaching hours over the program, but most of us have gone above and beyond this already as it’s been very valuable

Diving Deep as a Coach

Moving towards something transformational beneath the surface. The time between 15 and 17 years old were not my finest. I got suspended from school 3 times, dyed my hair some terrible colours, got in (minor) trouble with the police, probably aged my parents by 10 years and was generally pretty

Untangling Time & Energy

Somewhere along the way you’ve probably been asked a question along the lines of ‘where are you spending your time & energy right now?’ You may have asked it yourself. Time and energy are often paired together. The answer to this question may contain a few elements, or it may

Why you should say less than necessary

In Robert Greene’s best-selling, controversial book ‘The 48 Laws of Power’ is the law ‘Always say less than necessary’. Whenever I think of this line, and the book more generally, my mind jumps to Marlon Brando in The Godfather, or Niccolo Macchiavelli. But it runs more deeply than just

Listening to other people’s conversations

Over the coming months I’ll be writing about my experiences as a student in the Coaching for Transformation program run by Leadership That Works. It’s a 9 month program for coaches from all backgrounds to level up their skills and attain their international coaching certification. As you’d

Origins, Beliefs and Declarations

A few weeks ago my friend Michelle featured me in her weekly newsletter that goes out to a community of execs in the music and entertainment industry. My piece in the newsletter was very simple as she asked me to give her just 3 things; * The reason why I started